I don't even remember waking up today.
Last night I didn't get much sleep. I was up a good portion holding a knife after locking myself in my room. In hind sight, holding that knife and hallucinating wasn't the best combination, but nothing bad happened. I guess I fell asleep at some point, but I don't know for sure. I know I was laying in bed, staring at my door. I think I saw the doorknob turn and thats it. I know it couldn't have actually turned since I locked the door, so I think that was a bit of a hallucination.
But I just woke up about 15 minutes ago. My house is trashed. Everything that could be knocked down is and everything that could be thrown to the ground was. Pictures, books, papers, everything. It scared the shit out of my dog, since I found him hiding under my bed. I'm getting more violent with these things. But that isn't the worst of it.
In the living room there is this spot just above the couch where a painting was before I tore it down in my rampage. I woke up and found a good portion of my knives from the kitchen planted into the wall firmly. They spelled out LEON. I just got done tossing out all of the knives in my house.
I'm going to see Dr. Keep tomorrow. Hopefully he'll have some answers or help for me.
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